


(No) Bedtime Stories

by Majikku (Mizuike)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Aqua | Azura (mentioned) - Freeform, Depression, Gen, Memories, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Violence, Paranoia, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slight Birthright AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 02:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17173805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizuike/pseuds/Majikku
Summary: Another nightmare. Since the events a few years ago, they only got worse.





	(No) Bedtime Stories

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally posted on Fire Emblem Amino under the same title (and username). I did a few alterations to it however, added some new lines to it and fixed some mistakes I made regarding choice of words and continuity.
> 
> What you should know about this "slight Birthright AU" (I mentioned it in the tags): this is basically me thinking "What if Iago had been smarter in Birthright?". I always criticized how flawed his plan with Takumi actually was. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against it (yes, I am one of the few people who actually adore Fates), but I think he actually could have made up a smarter plan. What this is... Well... You'll have to find out.  
> It should be noted that despite the continuity changes, Takumi's "betrayal" in chapter 25 of Birthright still took place.
> 
> Just a quick mention: the things going on here are listed in the tags and those are not here for fun! Although there are no graphic descriptions and many things are merely mentioned or brely scratched at, which is why I rated this T. If you think an M rating would be more appropriate, please tell me since I am still unexperienced with this.

“ _Well, we can make this easy”, Hinoka shouted at Garon. She had been riding her Pegasus Shizen up to the gallery, positioning himself (in fact) higher than him. A dangerous provocation. “Just stay away from neutral ground, scum!” The king of Nohr chuckled. “Do you want to challenge me, princess of Hoshido?”_

“ _Oh, is this a challenge, king of Nohr?” She grinned, pulling out her naginata. “Then I'll gladly accept it...”_

“ _Not so fast”, Garon stopped her, turning to Iago. “Bring him in.”_

_Takumi frowned. His wrists were aching from the waiting. But he wasn't going to surrender. He could not surrender. If he did... The troops would loose a lot of moral._

_His fingers were shaking. He couldn't really explain why. He wasn't exited about the things that were coming at him, nor scared. And therefore, the young prince really was annoyed by his body's behavior. Because he couldn't control it. Couldn't fix it._

_He felt a spear's wooden end being stabbed at his back. “Move.” He knew he shouldn't... But he did obey. Whatever made him do this..._

_Hinoka's jaw dropped. “Takumi?!” Her naginata dropped, he voice sounding alarmed. Iago laughed. “You should see the look on your face, princess...”_

“ _Silence, Iago”, Garon ordered. Then he turned to the young prince, who had his hands bound on his back. “One single word to your sister and I will have your tongue cut out, understood?” He pressed his lips together, wanting to deny them an answer. Only resulting in getting slapped right away. He gasped from the sharp pain. “Our king asked you if you understood him, young prince”, Iago grinned. “So?”_

“ _Wow. Really... Wow”, Hinoka hissed sarcastically, even applauding. “That's what I call desperate. Need to take a hostage to keep me from killing their king...” Another smack onto Takumi's face led to her cutting off herself. She bit her lip._

“ _You have got two options, Princess Hinoka”, Garon continued. “The first one is – obviously – continuing war against Nohr. But be aware that even if you win, Prince Takumi here might not survive this.” Hinoka's eyes widened. “Let us just say, every further aggression against Nohr will be taken out on him.”_

“ _No”, Hinoka whispered. “Yes”, Garon said. “And the other option is... Well... You get your brother back. Mostly unharmed.” Iago giggled. “Depends on how well HE behaves.”_

“ _But”, Garon continued regardless of his retainer's interruption, “Hoshido will surrender.”_

“ _Never”, Hinoka hissed. “Ryoma would never...” Takumi's cry of pain interrupted her. The young prince had fallen to his knees, panting heavily. Iago had struck him with a thunder spell. “Well, Princess Hinoka, as far as I am informed, High Prince Ryoma holds his family's well-being in high regard. I would not be so sure about his decision.”_

“ _This is blackmailing!”, she hissed. “This is called politics, dear Princess”, Garon replied. “But I am not a monster. You may overthink your decision. Nohr will not raise any further aggression against Hoshido – but be aware that should Hoshido take part in any further aggressions against Nohr, he”, Garon gestured towards the still panting Takumi, “will suffer.” That being said, the Nohrian king stood up. “Let us go”, he declared, turning around. “We are done here.”_

“ _BASTAAAAAAARD!!!” Then everything suddenly happened so fast. Garon's axe, Hinoka's scream, the blood... “HINOKA!”, Takumi shouted, trying to free himself, to run towards his sister and..._

* * *

... he woke up by someone shaking him, immediately grabbing the Fundō, which laid at his Futon's side, as he sat up hastily.

“Easy”, Ryoma said in a calm voice. “You just had a nightmare, Takumi.” But that couldn't calm him down immediately. His grip on the Fundō tightened. Ryoma grabbed his hand. “Takumi, it is okay...”

“It'll never be okay!”, he snapped back. Ryoma sighed. “Takumi, you can let go of your Fundō. No one is here aside from me and Kisaragi and he is still asleep. Everything is alright...” As he said this, he could feel Takumi's grip on the Fundō loosening.

Sometimes Ryoma really wished he could forbid Takumi to keep a weapon at the side of his bed, especially since he once almost strangled Hinoka's arm with it, luckily just getting a hold of her sleeve. But the young prince couldn't sleep without this. It was like an assurance to him. And even so, he had his nightmares.

As Ryoma pulled him into a hug, he felt him trembling, while being totally stressed, obviously. The king sighed. “Takumi, you need to see a doctor with that kind of trauma. It is getting worse...”

“No”, the younger one whispered. “They'll only lock me away into the asylum...” True. So true. They had way too much to do with all the soldiers who had suffered a trauma in the war. Ryoma could understand why Takumi denied going – but he seriously wished his brother would. His trauma wasn't the only thing the young prince had to deal with. His depression was also an issue.

“Takumi”, Ryoma hummed, “would you please put down your weapon now?” The Fundō fell to the ground almost immediately. He sighed. “Thank you, little brother...”

“Dad?” Ryoma turned around. Takumi's three-year-old son, Kisaragi (Kiragi for short), was standing in at the Fusuma, barefoot and obviously worried about his father. “K-Kiragi...” Takumi's voice was rough. As if he was sick. “Daddy?”

“He is alright, Kisaragi”, Ryoma explained his nephew. “Nightmares”, Takumi murmured. “Nothing for you to worry about...” Kiragi plodded to his father's Futon slowly, throwing his arms around him. “Kiragi's here for Dad...” Ryoma watched Takumi's hands entangling themselves into Kiragi's hair, while he started to hum a melody he probably picked up from Azura for the young child. He truly loved his son.

“I'm such a bad father”, Takumi whispered, as soon as Kiragi had fallen asleep again. “I was never there for Shigure while he was in the sacred realm... I'm not even able to not drag Kiragi into all of this.” He caressed his son's head carefully. “He deserves so much better...”

“I think he does not want to have another father”, Ryoma answered. “He loves you, Takumi...” In that moment, he noticed his younger brother was crying. “Takumi?”

“I'm such a pityful pile of shit”, the former archer mumbled. “I'm depressive, I'm traumatized...”

“Takumi, everyone would be traumatized by what you experienced!”, Ryoma snapped quietly. “Not in this way”, the younger one replied. “Besides, no one would have done what Iago demanded! No one but... Me...”

“Takumi, we talked about this”, Ryoma sighed. “The things that were done to you...”

“... Are no excuse.” The younger one's voice was shaking. “Why didn't you punish me?”, he whispered quietly. “For that I did...”

“Because I don't see a need. You have been suffering enough to this point”, Ryoma clarified. Again. It was not the first time that Takumi asked him this question and it was also not the first time Ryoma clarified his position.

He knew very well that his younger brother deemed himself unworthy of being a Hoshidian prince, that he felt he should be punished. The parliament wasn't fully innocent about this since a not insignificant part of it had voted for his execution after the war was over – something Ryoma had luckily been able to prevent due to his status as king. Still, he had been put under arrest. And as if depressions and the trauma were not enough, the constant surveillance had also led to a certain amount of paranoia.

“Hinoka lost her arm due to me!”, Takumi sobbed. “I thought you love her...”

“Hinoka lost her arm because she was in a bad spot and overwhelmed by her fury”, Ryoma clarified. “Even she herself does not blame you.” He sighed. “Besides I do love her. Deeply. Just as I do love you, Takumi. You two were the reason why I considered surrendering...”

* * *

_Hinoka was in surprisingly good mood for the bad mood she was usually in those days. Ryoma admitted that he had his difficulties keeping up with her. Then again, hand-to-hand-combat had never been his greatest strength._

_As she brought him down for what seemed to be the hundredth time, he smiled. “You certainly haven't lost your form.”_

“ _Yupp.” She cracked her knuckles. “I guess I'm ready to stand onto the battlefield again.” She moved her right, now lightly translucent hand in front of her face. “Sakura's magic certainly makes for a good punch. A shame it doesn't last for longer than a few hours...”_

“ _She surely did good work on that spell”, Ryoma smiled. “Who knows? Maybe she will be able to replace your arm permanently with it some day...”_

“ _Yeah. But even without, those Nohrians won't stand a chance!” Her left hand curled into a fist. “I'm ready for anything!”_

“ _About that, Hinoka...” Ryoma sighed loudly, sitting down on the meadow they had been training on. “I think we should give up.”_

“ _What?” Hinoka's fist relaxed and she looked confused. “Why?”_

“ _Is it not obvious?”, Ryoma asked. A rhetorical question. “They have Takumi as a hostage. And they will harm him, should we even attempt to fight them in any way.” He sighed, his gaze meeting the grass on the ground. “I do not want him to return to us ripped into pieces”, he whispered. “Or significantly... Changed.” Hinoka stayed silent. “If we attack them, they will harm him”, Ryoma repeated. “Perhaps kill him...” He shook his head. “I can not do this”, he sighed. “Besides... You already lost an arm.”_

“ _You're such an idiot, Ryoma”, the redhead scolded him. He looked up. “Do you really think they'll keep their word? You know how cruel Nohrians are. They'll torture him one way or another for their own enjoyment!”_

“ _But if we provoke them on top of...”, Ryoma started, but his sister cut him off again. “Besides, you know what a brat Takumi can be. He surely won't make their lifes easy”, she continued. “And judging by the way they treated him at Cyrkensia, I bet that they make hell out of his.”_

“ _Takumi is smart”, Ryoma disagreed. “He wouldn't...”_

“ _He would and you know it.” Hinoka sat down at his side, not in Seiza like him, she never cared about formalities and such as much has he did – had to do as High Prince. “The longer we wait the greater the risk they do something terrible to him. The longer we wait, the more pain he has to face.” She had stared at the sky before. Perhaps she was searching for Shizen. The Pegasus had fled after Garon had cut off her arm, scared. It hadn't returned to her yet. “And there is another thing.”_

“ _And that is?” Ryoma raised his eyebrows. “He would want us to fight for him. To save him”, Hinoka replied. “To not give up.” Ryoma stayed silent. “When I saw him as their hostage, he looked... Scared. But at the same time, there was still that pride in his eyes. That wild, untamed determination of a Hoshidian prince. Of our brother...”_

“ _Now you exeggerate”, Ryoma chuckled. “I'm serious”, Hinoka declared. “He would want us to continue fighting.” She paused for a short time. “And about my arm... It's okay, really.” She grinned. “Now I have two reasons to continue fighting. For Takumi - and for myself. Do you really think I'd let those idiots get a hold of me by cutting off my arm?” Ryoma chuckled. “Not really.” Hinoka laughed. “See? You're an idiot, Ryo.”_

“ _Perhaps you are right...”_

* * *

“She was.” Takumi stared into the air. “I wanted you to fight... To not give up. In the beginning.” He pulled Kiragi closer to him. Protectively, as if all the memories caused a sudden urge to never let him go. Ryoma could understand that; Takumi had lost so much. The older brother admired how he still kept going, despite all depressions, paranoia and traumatic experiences. How he still kept fighting. “Ryoma?”

“Hm?”

“Will you stay?” He sounded like a child. Ryoma smiled. “As long as you want me to.” Finally. Finally he asked. Opened up... That was something to begin with. “Can we... Talk?”

“To keep you from sleeping?” Takumi sighed at this question. “You got me there...”

“Do you sometimes dream about what happened?”, Ryoma wanted to know. His younger brother nodded. “It seems I'm... That I tend to have nightmares.” He sighed again. “You know, before the war, it were things I could not... Well, not assign to anything.” Ryoma nodded. “Sometimes I dreamed about how father died – but I wasn't there when it happened. Sometimes I dreamed about losing mother too. And sometimes it was just... Things that scared me.”

“Like losing us?”, Ryoma asked. Takumi nodded. "And more." He looked up at the ceiling. “Sometimes you told me that I wasn't good enough... Useless...” Terror grew in his eyes as he continued speaking. “And sometimes, I dreamed of being controlled by something... A voice in the back of my head. And then, I grabbed Fujin Yumi and shot you in your heads. One by one.” Ryoma could feel his fear. It was in his trembling voice. Takumi looked at him again now. “But now, it's different. Now the dreams are memories.”

“About the war? And Nohr?” Takumi nodded. “Sometimes also about... Her.” Of course Ryoma knew whom he was talking about. He was alluding to Azura, whose name he couldn't speak out loud since she died and hearing it usually caused him to have a mental breakdown. “You told her, didn't you?”

“Yeah. I did.” His gaze was again fixed on some point in the distance, a point Ryoma couldn't see. Perhaps the past. “She... Understood. She had been through similar things in her childhood, you know. Not the... Bloody stuff, but...”

“You don't have to name it, Takumi, I know what you mean”, Ryoma interrupted him as he realized how difficult it was for his younger brother to speak about those things. “That's how we became close. She cared about me and I needed the support. I developed a sympathy for her... Perhaps it was just my sick mind, but I soon realized it was more.” He sighed. “I just don't know why...”

“You do not have to ask about that”, Ryoma smiled. “Love is like an untamed bird, which always flies where it wants.” He rubbed his brother's head. “May I ask if you want to tell me more?”

“There is so much I didn't tell you about her... And me.” Takumi smiled lightly. “After you told me to stay at Notre Sagesse for some time, to mediate and learn from the Rainbow Sage, and she decided to stay with me, she'd take care of me.” Now he was definitely looking at the past. Melancholy was in his gaze and also his voice, when he continued to speak. “She watched over me at night.”

“Just as I do now?”

“Yeah, quite similar.” Kiragi chortled quietly, snuggling closer to his father. “I needed that”, he continued. “Someone to watch me.” He caressed Kiragi's head again. “I was so broken I couldn't even help myself anymore. I simply forgot things like to wash myself, so she reminded me on them. She even needed to convince me to eat sometimes...”

“I had no idea it was that bad”, Ryoma admitted quietly. “I am sorry. I am sorry I was not there for you, Takumi.”

“It's okay, Ryoma.” The younger brother sighed. “To be honest, I wished you were, but you already did so much. You were the one freeing me from my perspective, you know.”

“You remember that?”, Ryoma asked him, slightly surprised. Takumi nodded. “You were barely conscious”, Ryoma remembered. “Nearly dead to be exact...”

* * *

“ _That's the last one”, Hinoka murmured. Ryoma and her had been looking for prisoners in the dungeons of Maracath, after the city fell into Hoshidian hands after weeks of sieging and a battle that lasted for days. They hadn't found any Hoshidians so far, which only increased Ryoma's suspicions that Nohr wouldn't make any further prisoners. Aside from Takumi._

_They had freed a few Nohrians however. Apparently all people who wanted to surrender during the sieging and actually waiting for their execution. Nohr was harsh on what they considered crime. Ryoma had ordered his people to give them food and medicine. It hurt him to see the ordinary people suffer from the war that much._

“ _I wonder where they took Takumi”, Hinoka mumbled. “And how he is...” She swallowed. “I hope the siege didn't cause him too much trouble.”_

“ _He will be fine”, Ryoma told her. “Takumi is strong.”_

“ _May I remind you that_ you _were the one who wanted to give up because Nohr holds him hostage?”, Hinoka asked. If it wasn't such a serious situation, she might have grinned, but now she was totally serious. Looked even worried. “You may”, Ryoma answered, while opening the door. “You are right after...” He interrupted himself, shocked by the view in front of him. “Hinoka”, he whispered, “do not look at...”_

“ _Whatever it is”, she declared, while shoving him aside, “I've seen wo-...” She clapped her single hand over her mouth. “T-T...”_

“ _I told you”, Ryoma sighed, walking into the cell, towards the body of his younger body, that laid lifelessly on the bottom, on the stomach. He knelt down besides him, touching his shoulder lightly._

_Meanwhile, Hinoka walked towards the wall, which was painted in a crusty, dark brown color. She swallowed, her fingers touching one letter of the message that was written onto the stones._

THIS HAPPENS IF YOU CHALLENGE NOHR, HOSHIDIAN FILTH.

“ _Ryo?”, she whispered. “Do you think this is... Takumi's blood?” Ryoma gently stroked his brother's cheek. “It smells like blood in here, so you might be correct.” He turned the lifeless body around. The skin was already cold. Takumi must have laid there for a very long time. And then, Ryoma noticed something. “Hinoka.”_

“ _Hm?” She turned around. “He is breathing.”_

“ _What?!” The redhead immediately rushed to his side. She frowned at the sight of the pale, emaciated body and the wounds on it, some of them obviously infected, but nevertheless touched her younger brother's chest. “Yes”, she whispered. “There is a heartbeat.”_

“ _Gods”, Ryoma murmured. A terrible suspicion began to form into his head. They didn't_ forget _Takumi in the dungeon. They left him at this place to_ die _. They_ wanted _them to find him. It had_ all _been_ planned _._

_Suddenly, one of Takumi's eyes opened, the other one was bruised and swollen. Hinoka was the first one to react. She took his hand, squeezing it lightly. Takumi let out a quiet noise. “Shhh, it's okay”, she whispered. “We're here now, Takumi...”_

“ _We need a blanket for him”, Ryoma said quietly to not scare his younger brother. “Do you still have any?”_

“ _Yeah, luckily...” She stood up, running out of the cell, apparently to fetch one. Ryoma stayed behind. He lifted Takumi up into his arms. The young prince protested quietly, presumably because it hurt him to be lifted up like that. Besides, Ryoma still wore his armor, it was probably not that comfortable. “It is alright”, he told the younger one. “You are safe now. They will not hurt you again...”_

* * *

 “You know... They actually forced me to write that message onto the wall myself.” Takumi swallowed. “Took them a lot of... 'Convincing' though.” There was that pride Hinoka had spoken of. That wild, untamed determination. So they hadn't managed to break all of him. Still, at the same time, Ryoma could see the traces Takumi's captivity had left on him. The strains of pure white in his now short hair, that had never vanished completely. The scar that ran across his left eye, and the eye itself with it's now milky iris. While still intact, the vision on it was blurry and Takumi preferred to wear an eyepatch to cover it up at daytime. He was skinny – Takumi didn't eat much, sometimes Ryoma had to force him to take some more. The trembling hands. That sad smile...

The older brother felt a sting in his heart, a reminder of his failure to protect Takumi from this fate, this pain he was still going through and which, like his scars, would probably never fully vanish.

A hand grabbed Ryoma's own carefully, almost shyly. A cool, trembling hand. Takumi was trying to make their gazes meet, something Ryoma had not been able to bear for a long time. Because in all the chaos of feelings that he could see in Takumi's eyes, one particular was missing: hatred on his older brother for failing him.

It was a while before one of them – Takumi – dared to speak up again. “And yes, it was my own blood. But collected over time, not all at once.” Silence. Takumi never talked about the time he had spent in the Nohrian dungeons. All Ryoma knew was that he had been hurt, physically and mentally. Abused and mistreated. Even raped. It was a little wonder that he had been able to form a relationship with Azura.

Ryoma nodded in acknowledgment. “That question actually bothered me for a long time”, he admitted. “There is no way you could have survived loosing the amount of blood that was used to paint the wall.” Takumi smiled weakly. “They regularly bled me.” They stayed silent again, for a while, each one lost in their own thoughts. Takumi had one back to ruffling through sleeping Kiragi's hair and Ryoma had started to do the same for Takumi, unconciously, wanting to show him that he was there. That he would stay there.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this”, he finally stated. Takumi shook his head. “No.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for listening”, Takumi whispered. “I think I can sleep a lot better now.”

“I am glad”, Ryoma said, caressing his brother's head again. “You know you can always come if you have a nightmare or paranoia, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks Ryoma.” The younger brother smiled. “You can also go to Hinoka”, Ryoma continued. “I am sure she would be happy to listen to you. Trust me, she does not blame you for her lost arm.” Takumi nodded. “I'll remember it.”

“Alright.” Ryoma stood up. “Good night then. Sleep well.”

“Good night.”

 


End file.
